The Good, the Bad, the both of them

The thing that's stood out the most to me lately is how my perception of another person can completely change my perception of everything else in life.  Think about someone that you can NOT stand to be around.  Now, try to spend time with that person.  You will come to understand that this person is not all bad.  Everyone has good qualities.  I promise.  This probably goes back to the creation of man, where we are created in God's image, but we are flesh at the same time.  This mUST mean that we all have  both positive and negative characteristics.  I could go on and on about this and make a million different examples, but the point is the following:  Find the GOOD in everyone, because everyone has some good in them.  Because they were created in the image of God.  No one is perfect (obviously), but no one is 100% evil either.  Find the Good in everyone, and you'll find God in them.  This is one way that I've learned to get closer to God in the past couple of months.
Also, keep on smiling, I think God like's it when we smile :D
love you all.....

Experience

1- learn why girls aren't crazy: go on a date
2- learn how to be patient: drive on 431 between guntersville and boaz
3- work on your anger problem- drive on 431 between guntersville and boaz
4- learn how to not get out of your car to punch people- drive on 431 between guntersville and boaz
5- learn how to get closer to God- turn off cable TV
6- learn how to cook a good meal- talk to margie helton
7- learn how to be nice to everyone- have dinner with steve helton
8- Find a friend who is smarter than you- have dinner with ashley helton
9- learn how to find something you love- get paid for singing at the Lakehouse
10- learn to play music on anything with strings- have dinner with steve helton
11- learn how to be perfect- talk to margie helton
12- learn how to be steve stanfield- be friends with steve stanfield
13- learn how to have fun- talk to tara elliott
14- learn how to talk to much- talk to daniel helton
15- watch a great movie- rent happythankyoumoreplease
16- TRY to better someone else's life- start a blog
17- find God everywhere- look anywhere
18- learn to live- talk to Jesus Christ
19- start another blog

The Present is a Gift

"All my best days are behind me"

"Those were the best days of my life"

"The glory days"      "The good ol' days"

"If I could do it all over again...."

I believed these phrases to be true at one point in my life.  But I have to remind myself that the past is in the past.  I cannot, and will not, and do not believe that my past was the best part of my life.  I'm not saying that I didn't love my days at Auburn and at DAR high school, because I treasure those days.  I shared many good and bad experiences with the most wonderful people in the world.  I am so very thankful for the people that have been a part of my life.  I am a better person today because of these people; they will always be in my memories.

But many times our memories can fail us.  Our memories highlight the good parts of the past.  We so often forget that the "best times of our lives" were not perfect.  We had problems and struggles like we still have today.  We had an argument with a friend, a break up, or maybe we lost a job or failed a test.  We probably learned more from these so-called failures than from many of our successes.  That is part of the maturation process of a human being: experience. 

So what is my point?  The point is that we cannot dwell on the past.  We can learn from it and appreciate it, but we cannot let the past be the focus of our thoughts.  It's gone.  Done.  Finished.  We can't change it, no matter how hard we try. 

Many times I've been asked, "Daniel, when was the best day of your life?"  And I could never think of a clear day that stood out to me.  This bothered me for a while.  I began to think about it, and I've finally found my answer.  The best day of my life is today.  The here and now.  Why?  Because I'm living it.  I CAN change it and appreciate it to its full extent.  It's Wednesday, July 27, 2011.  I'm sitting in the living room, watching an old Mike Tyson fight as I listen to Miles Davis and drink  sweat tea from a glass.  Does life get any better than this?  Sure, it probably does.  But I can transform any of those things if I want to.  I have the power to change what I want if I live in the present if I don't dwell on the past.  Actually, I can think of an alteration to make at this very moment that will make my life a little better: I need to fill up my glass with more tea. haha

Going back to my point on dwelling on the past, it is also easy to get carried away with focusing on the future.  Yes, of course I should think about the future and prepare myself for it.  But the end result is not the point of life.  The journey is just as important as the finish line.  For example: if you're purpose in life is to eventually make enough money to support a family, then you have to start now.  You do this by saving money when you can, working hard enough to get a promotion, or studying for a test in school/college to get that degree so you will have a comfortable job in the future. 

Another example (just as Ashley and Ryan are doing):  If your calling in life is to spread the Gospel, then you prepare EVERY DAY to do this.  Preparation includes studying the Word, learning how to speak one on one to different people, and learning to support others spiritually.  Do they wait until tomorrow or the next day to begin preparing for these things?  No, they do these things every single day.  In the PRESENT.  And because they do these things, they will be ready when it's time for them to go out into the world. 

These are only two examples, but it applies to any goal you have in life. 

Again, we have to think about the future at times, but we cannot get caught up in the future so much that we forget about the present.  The present is the most important thing.

Two of my favorite quotes actually sum up this entire piece of writing and rambling:

1- "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"

2- "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

Realizations

When can you really know someone?  When I say,“know,” I don’t mean understand his/her personality.  Not they’re beliefs, sense of humor, likes or dislikes.  More than seeing an attractive female from across the room; noticing how pleasantly her left eye is an oh-so-slightly different color than her right eye.  Small talk and superficial conversation may trick one into feeling a real connection between the two of you, just because you enjoy the same music or agree on political views.  This connection may turn into a friendship.  The friendship can lead to familiarity.  Familiarity may sometimes be a very dangerous feeling.  When I see a familiar face I instantly have an emotion associated with that person.  This face can cause me to smile.  It can make me roll my eyes, laugh, become angry, recall memories from years passed.  The danger comes into play when I think of a time in the past.  This familiarity can cause me to believe that I know a person, and this belief comes from a period from the past.  Some of the best and most memorable days of my life may have been shared with a  person, so of course I associate this person with happiness.  I forget about all the other circumstances that had an impact on why these days were so great.  Maybe these days were so great because I began a new hobby.  Or I was learning something new that I didn’t know about.  It may have been a stress free point in my life. For whatever reason this familiar person could have simply been a side-show to what was really making me happy.  Then again, it could really be that person that made me happy.

What about ourselves, do we know our own selves?  Sometimes I don’t think I do.  Pride is sometimes an invisible veil.  And this veil can be suffocating if it gets too heavy.  We cannot allow others to give us our identity, or for US to become engulfed with THEIR feelings.  This is pride.  Trying to be someone that I’m not so that others will have a false portrait of me; to get your happiness from their impressions.  If this is your way of happiness, then it may be fake happiness.  Does it withstand the test of time?  Can you smile and laugh when you’re alone?  This is how I test my happiness occasionally, and I think it’s a pretty good barometer.  Another barometer that I like even better (personally):  if you find a hat that you like, wear it.  Don’t care if you don’t think others like it, it’s just a silly hat!  Wear it.  Find a way to be happy with yourself.  I know that’s a cliché but it rings true.  Once you’re happy with you, then you can share and receive happiness with others.  I think this is summed up in a phrase that I learned at a college church service around 5 years ago: “Be to do, don’t do to be.”

BUT this is not the same as being selfish as in “do whatever makes you happy.”  This is something deeper than momentary pleasure.  This can bring you joy, which is different that happiness.  Happiness is physiological, just chemicals in our brains.  But JOY has a divine nature.  Joy is a realization and a commitment.  It’s comparable to the difference in lust and love.  Love is more than an emotion.  It’s tragic that we grow up thinking that love is only a feeling, by watching fairy tails and romantic movies and having everything sugar-coated.  Of course emotions are involved, but love is also a COMMITMENT.  Relationships must have investments and sacrifices: whether the relationship is romantic, a friendship, or spiritual.  

I think God is about love, short term sacrifice of our selfish desires, joy, relationship, and realization that He is in control. 

Baby food and jobs we don't like

Baby Food-

         The original baby food is the mother's womb.  Eventually certain cells multiply into a placenta that connects to the fetus.  This provides nutrients to the baby until it’s no longer sustainable (for the mother and the baby).  The baby is born, then drinks milk.  Then the milk will become a part of the past as the child eats baby food.  Then the child can begin to develop his or her own tastes as he grows.  “I want macaroni and cheese”  becomes “I want Taco Bell”  which becomes “I want Outback Steakhouse or Amsterdam Café.”  The point is that the child originally needs food to get his nutrition.  Then once that NEED is satisfied, He can be more selective to foods that please him as well as satisfy him.  

This is a great metaphor for life.  Babyfood can be anything: music. relationships. books.  philosophy.  and spirituality.  Even morality to some extent (we are taught to obey the law as we grow up.  But how many of us drive over the speed limit or sometimes don’t use the turn signal?  Do you have to use the blinker if no one else is on the road?  Everything is not black and white; there’s a lot of grey.

Questions morph from “when and where” to “how” and eventually “why?”  A good example for these questions in relationships:

When:  “what time do you wanna have dinner?”

Where:  “Where are you from?”

How:  “How do you feel about us?”

Why:  “Why are we happy together”  “why aren’t we happy?”

This can apply to any kind of “baby food” in life.  Always grow and reach for the next step until you reach the “why.”  For me, the deepest why questions are  always answered by God.  Once I can't understand a subject after researching and discussing, I tell myself that there must be a Higher Power that is more intelligent than any human being.  Once you can begin to answer the why questions, there’s a new layer of happiness available.  The journey of finding the answer to the why questions is, to me, the point of education.  Learning until you begin to ask and answer the why questions.  The answers are not always black and white as I said earlier.  I saw a quote a few days ago: “Don’t define your world in black and white because there is so much hiding in the greys.”  And the quote had a picture of a grey full moon.  The many craters and mountains are clearly visible. 

Many people forget the “why” of their jobs.  It becomes routine and sometimes dreaded.  If that happens, remember why you have the job even if you don’t love what you’re actually doing.  The why is that you have to support yourself or your family.  This is a fortunate task that is often forgotten.  You are able to support yourself and have money for hobbies and other luxuries, even if it’s just a quarter-pounder with cheese from McDonalds.  We also forget that we are influences.  Our co-workers learn about our character and beliefs.  There's always an opportunity to share the love and teachings of Jesus.  We are a fortunate and freedom-enjoying country among many impoverished nations around the world.  

We are blessed, even though we do not deserve it.  Tell God you appreciate the chance of being productive.  

Therapy (short post)

I think movie soundtracks are sometimes just as important as the quality of the actors.  Especially if I can’t personally relate to a movie.  The absence of that connection can be filled with a well placed song.  The conduit is now open; emotions may flow.  To me this is the step up from liking a movie to loving a movie.  Some of my favorite examples include Garden State, My Blueberry Nights, 500 Days of Summer, 7 Pounds, and Happythankyoumoreplease.  I can listen to these soundtracks and see the parallel scenes in the movie.  It’s therapeutic to me.

other therapeutic things for me:

Playing tetris and making the blocks fit together

When mopping the floor, watch as the dry spots become glossy with water.

The feeling of the door unlocking when you turn the key

Opening champagne

Feeling that your teeth are dirty, then brushing them and feeling how clean they are.

Revving the engine

Jazz

What are some odd things that are therapeutic to you?  Comment below...

God is in Sweet Tea

I poured a glass of homemade sweet tea.  My mother made it.  What is sweet tea?  What are the ingredients?  Where did they come from?  They came from the ground.  Tea leaves are, obviously, leaves.  From a plant.  That grew from the ground. 

First of all, let’s think about plants.  Where do they come from?  They begin as a seed that must be pressed down into soil.  When it receives water and nutrients, the plant begins to grow and mature more and more.  Eventually, The former seed becomes a plant.  So, what makes a seed grow?  It goes down to the molecular level.  Certain chemicals react very precisely with other chemicals .Why do chemicals behave the way they do?  Because of they are composed of atoms, which are made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons.  Chemical reactions occur because of electrons.  Basically, electrons want to move to other atoms when they feel attracted to those atoms. 

Yes, this sounds crazy and nerdy and overly scientific.  But this is the fact of life.  We are made up of tiny substances called atoms, and they behave because of the way electrons and protons are arranged.  What holds them together?  Charges.  Positive and negative charges, like a magnet.  Do we know why positive  charges are attracted to negative charges?  No, not really.  It just happens.  Some scientists argue that there has to be a balance between positive and negative.  But this still doesn’t answer the question:  “Why are they attracted to each other?”  There’s no way to know in my opinion.  But this is considered fact and taken as truth, and I believe that this is the truth.

But this realization still begs the questions “how and why?”.   There’s no proven answer.  Yet many biologists accept these facts and think that the first form of life happened over billions of years of swirling elements randomly combining with one another until something happened, and life was formed.  Over a long enough period of time, random happenings will occur according to this theory. 

Is this really believable?  Is everything we experience the consequence of randomness and “survival of the fittest?”  Personally, this is not plausible at all.  I understand the  reasoning, but when it comes down to sub-atomic levels, how can this be accepted?  There must be an intelligent Being that set everything into motion.  Obviously, this cannot be scientifically proven either.  But I find it highly unlikely that billions of years of randomness turned into the power of thinking.  We can all think and read and understand and be happy or angry or sad.  And this is also a result of chemicals binding to certain molecules in our brain.  And this is also proven fact.  If a person’s brain feels an increase in the amount of a chemical called seratonin, he or she feels happy.  This is how many anti-depressants work.  It’s amazing when we think about it.  But again, it all goes back to the level of the atom.  The atoms in seratonin are attracted to the atoms of a nerve cell.  Why does this make me feel happy or unhappy?  How?  It’s impossible to answer these types of questions.  This all comes down to the questions “Were we CREATED?  Or did we come about due to the randomness of different atoms being attracted to one another?.” 

As I drink my glass of sweet tea, I feel sure that God put all these things into motion.  The tea leaves and the sugar both came from plants.  The water fell from the sky.  The leaves were boiled (which means the electrons were excited and moved around a lot).  Sugar was added to the mixture of tea and water.  Add some ice, and here I am.  Can something that tastes so perfect be random?  Is this feeling a consequence of positives and negatives being attracted to one another?  Or is this another piece of evidence that God exists and He loves us?  This is an easy answer for me.  God is in all things whether we realize it or not.  Think about it whenever you feel joy in anything: sweet tea, kissing, music, the lake, and everything else.  God is everywhere and waiting for us to enjoy Him.  Go enjoy!

The Comfort of God

Jesus speaks to the disciples about sending a comforter in John 14.  I believe this comfort comes in the form of the Holy Spirit.  One of my greatest experiences of my life came during one of the worst times in my life; in September, 2007.  Headaches, dizziness, and other symptoms caused me to go see Dr. Coleman, my general physician.  After having an MRI, Dr. Coleman informed me that I had a tumor in the right temporal lobe of my brain.  I was hospitalized that night to begin preparations for surgical removal of the tumor.  It was a time of distress and uncertainty, as I had never been through anything remotely close to that.  As my family and I sat in the hospital room, all I could do was pray, and pray we did.  The words of Pastor Dwight Willmon resounded in my head: "Jesus said he would send us the comforter, which is the Holy Spirit."  So I prayed for comfort, I prayed for my anxiety to be taken away.  I thought the comfort would come directly from the Holy Spirit inside me, and of course it does many times.  But this time the comfort was sent another way: through my family.  When I say family, I don't only include blood relatives, I'm talking about my friends.  The best friends on earth.  Days 2 and 3 of my hospital stay, oddly enough, were 2 of the best days of my life.  Why?  Because the hospital room was transformed from a place of nervousness to a place of happiness, as friends came from Auburn, Birmingham, and Grant to spend time with me.  Some even spent the night with me.  It felt like a party, and I've never felt so much love before.  These friends had God working through them, whether they knew it or not.  They were my comfort that I had prayed for.  So the conclusion we can take from this is that God is using each and every one of us, even if we don't sometimes realize it.  God is that powerful, He is in EVERYTHING.  The more I realize this, the more joy I have in my life.  There is freedom in Jesus.  There is comfort if we obey His teachings and callings.  No, I do not believe that I will ever be perfect in regards to my obedience, but we can be polished every day if we are open to it.  God is limitless and all powerful, and we are invited to be used by Him whenever we ask.

Thanks for reading, love you all.